


It's alright, I'll hold you

by Fucking_Loser



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Cho Kyuhyun/Lee Donghae - Freeform, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I guess????, Lee Donghae/Cho Kyuhyun, what i want to say with this it's not an au that's all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 03:17:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17399006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fucking_Loser/pseuds/Fucking_Loser
Summary: "It’s 3am and Kyuhyun can’t sleep.It’s been 6 weeks since they had taken a plane from Incheon  and landed in China - Kyuhyun knew because he’d counted them."Kyuhyun gets homesick but Donghae is there to quietly comfort him





	It's alright, I'll hold you

It’s 3am and Kyuhyun can’t sleep.  
It’s been 6 weeks since they had taken a plane from Incheon and landed in China - Kyuhyun knew because he’d counted them.  
He’d been born and raised in Seoul. Even when he’d been with Super Junior he’d never been separated from his parents for longer than a week with overseas schedules.  
In the past year especially he had spent more time with them than he had in years. They had spent hours with him every day at the hospital and afterwards when he’d gone back to living with them his mom had staid home with him all day and even his dad had worked less hours.  
It was literal days after he’d moved back to the dorm when the company announced their plans for a new subgroup and that he was to be in it.  
At the time, he hadn’t been sure how to feel about it.  
But what did his opinion matter, after all he was replaceable wasn’t he? After all, this was a group of 13 and there were Henry and Zhou Mi now, weren’t there?  
They’d already been way more considerate of him than they would be obligated to and so it was that he found himself lying wide awake at 3am and a thousand kilometers from home.  
He missed Korea.  
He even missed some of the members.  
But most of all he missed the warmth of his parents.  
His heart ached at the thought of his mom’s soothing voice and he wished he could call her, but it’s been another long day of doing this and that and by the time they’d come home it was late and he knew she’d be asleep.  
His eyes began to sting and before he knew it tears were running silently down his cheeks.  
Kyuhyun was lying on his back, staring at the dark ceiling and attempting to keep quiet at all costs.  
He bit down on the back of his hand and tried to breathe calmly through his nose, but it was no use.  
He felt stupid - He’d never seen Hangeng or Kibum cry, they get sad, they get depressed, yes, but they never cry. Yet here he was, being a complete baby about it.  
His mattress dipped under the weight of another body and someone gently nudged him in the side to get him to move over a bit.  
Wordlessly, Donghae laid down next to him and Kyuhyun just let him. They kept laying next to each other, no sound audible except for Donghae’s quiet, calm breathing juxtaposed with his hiccuping, ragged one.  
„What’s wrong, Kyu?“ he asked after a while.  
Kyuhyun felt Donghae turn his head to look at him.  
„It doesn’t matter“, Kyuhyun said, staring at the ceiling.  
„I think it does“, Donghae said.  
„No, it doesn’t. It’s stupid.“  
„If you’re this upset it can’t be stupid“, he prodded.  
Kyuhyun shrugged. „It’s been a long day. That’s all.“  
Donghae nodded. „It was a very long day“  
„But it’s been a long day for all of us, I know. Yet I’m the only one breaking down.“  
Donghae shook his head. „That’s not true. We’re all exhausted, it’s not just you“, he assured him. It seemed like he wanted to add something else, but hesitated.  
„What?“, demanded Kyuhyun.  
„I… ah, Kyuhyun please don’t get mad at me but honestly… I think this is too soon“  
„Isn’t it exhausting, always pretending to be fine when I can see that you’re struggling when you think no one’s looking? You can’t compare yourself to the other members. You’re working with completely different circumstances. It’s okay to break down and cry, no one would blame you“He’s on the verge of crying again, but this time out of anger more than anything else.  
„I know“, he said, because what’s the point? Donghae knows. He knows. Everyone knows.  
„The company shouldn’t have put you in this situation. You should be home in Seoul.“  
„The company was kind enough not to kick me out already“  
Donghae shook his head.  
„Why would they kick you out?“  
„Because I’m bringing the whole damn team down“  
„What are you talking about? As soon as you joined we got our first win. You know, a while ago I listened to our first album and I kept thinking something’s missing… Suju is not complete without your voice in it. I mean it.“  
„I know I was never a good dancer but now my feet just stumble through the steps and don’t do what I want them to and I end up looking like an idiot“  
„That’s because you’re not 100% yet. So what? It’s going to come back in time. If you want you can practice with me, I’ll help you“  
„I’m just so fucking sick and tired of struggling all the time“, he said.  
And in the same second it left his mouth he realized that this one sentence swiftly summed his entire situation up.  
He’s completely exhausted because things that used to come easy to him now take 10 times as much effort and he doesn’t know how long he can go on pretending to be fine and never showing an ounce of weakness in front of others when everyone knows anyway because it’s the worst kept secret on the entire Korean peninsula, probably.  
Donghae was quiet for a long time.  
„That’s okay. From now on I’m going to be a brother you can lean on. You don’t have to carry all this weight on your own, I’m sorry you felt that way“, he said.  
Kyuhyun was dumbstruck for a second.  
„I know, thank you“, he said quietly at last.  
And Donghae just took his hand in his and squeezed it.

**Author's Note:**

> This was born on a night I myself was laying in my bed in the dark for hours unable to fall asleep because I was missing my mom.


End file.
